This post is a continuation of where we left off in blog número 5 about patience. This scary statement: one of the greatest forms of love is to allow yourself to need another person.
Some context because who doesn’t love context. Context is key. Especially when reading the Bible as people love to take scriptures out of context and run with it instead of reading the whole chapter or even a couple verses before and after to truly understand it.
So the book mentioned this statement in relation to another statement made by C.S. Lewis about God’s love for us:
If He who in himself can lack nothing chooses to need us, it is because we need to be needed.
C.S. Lewis
For more information about love from a Biblical perspective read the famous passage in 1 Corinthians 13. Or just look at the life of Christ and what he did for us. That my friends, is the true definition of love – John 3:16.
Back to this original scary statement. I feel like they’re saying that in relation to your spouse, significant other (I really don’t like this term, I think of equations), bae, boo-thang, partner etc, in order to really love them you must be vulnerable enough to need and enjoy them.
With love comes vulnerability.
That lowkey makes me sick.
I love you vs I need you
The other day I was listening to a podcast as I do (I’m a serial podcast listener, all day, every day). They were debating on which of the following statements is the deepest/would mean the most to them:
“I love you” or “I need you”.
Which one would mean the most if said to you?
Me personally, for me to say ‘I need you’ is a bit much like it’s a lot. A lot of people would be scared here.
To say you need someone implies you can’t live without them which reminds me of heartbreak and all these sad stories I’ve heard. That ain’t it. I don’t want to feel like I need anyone.
I want to be, and I am, comfy on my ones – not that I want to be alone forever. The only person I need is God and that’s on what – periodt.
Side note: I really don’t like it when us UK girls try say this with the American accent, sorry not sorry.
In the same breath it is nice knowing you’re needed, so why not offer that same feeling to someone else?
Let me be honest. I think my fear of not wanting to need people is rooted in an insecurity I had and probably lowkey still have, of people just leaving me. But God. God will never leave me or forsake me (Deuteronomy 31:6).
I want you
Let me change it to “one of the greatest forms of love is to allow yourself to want another person”. Yeah that sounds better suited to me because with ‘want’ there is an element of choice whereas with ‘need’ it’s like the choice is taken away. Like you’ve given up some of yourself.
It’s even interesante how in Spanish (my native tongue) te quiero = I want you when you translate it literally but it also means I love you.Relationships and all that jazz
I find that people seem to idolise relationships so much without thinking about the reality of it. Similar to how people want to get married but seem to forget that marriage is more than just a wedding, it’s a lifelong commitment.
I want to be in a relationship eventually (2021 God do your thing) but the reality of it scares me sometimes. I think it’s because I actually love my own company. Hence why quarantine ain’t a problem for me as I genuinely love my own space and being alone. Yet at the same time I do enjoy the company of others…sometimes, from the right people. But to have a whole other person to consider and love, say it with me – scaryyyyy.I do feel like I love deeply though. My close friends, just know I’ve got love for you guys and consider you like family (y’all know who you are) but romantic love seems to hit different.
Ngl God will be always be my first love. For reals, a relationship isn’t a priority for me, when it happens it happens innit. God’s timing.
, the way I see it: all the amazing people I have in my life, in particular all the people I met last year in 2020 who have made such an impact on my life, I didn’t plan on meeting them and have built so many strong Christ centred relationships. I do always pray for good friends though and God has brought them into my life. So how much more a man? That ain’t no problem for God, that ain’t no problem.
Vulnerability
Touching on the topic of vulnerability quickly, I’m 100% more willing to let my guard down and open up to people. This blog post is evidence of this and God has truly shown me the strength that comes with being vulnerable.
I read somewhere that vulnerability is emotionally liberating.
Vulnerability is accepting that you can’t do it alone.
What is your it? Life? Love? Heal? Work?
What does vulnerability mean to you?
Resources
Song
This isn’t exactly a gospel song but I really like this artist and heard that he originally used ‘Lord’ instead of ‘love’ but changed it basically due to pressure from industry as he’s an RnB artist.
Wait me, I even need to speak about the influences of music on your mind.
Musiq Soulchild – Love
