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This will probably be all over the place as I don’t have a clear structure in my head right now. I mean I never normally do. But sometimes I have some sort of idea about what I’m going to say.
Let me just start writing.
The other day one of my friends came to visit me at uni (corona can’t stop us); we watched a couple of our old videos from 1st and 2nd year of uni.
Nostalgic much.
It was so weird looking back and listening to the old version of ourselves.
As we were listening to ourselves speak we realised we really lived out the things we spoke over ourselves. When they say the tongue is powerful, they really mean it. I said something along the lines of not doing a lot of work during my placement year and being in the lab for a short period of time. Best believe that came to pass. Thank God though because I really enjoyed my placement year experience, bar the actual work I had to do in the lab.
Leaving friends in the past
Back to the topic of reminiscing: as we were watching the videos I found it weird how I could remember that specific point in time in my life. How I was feeling and the music I used to bang out – I get addicted to songs I like and play it 24/7 until I find another song, hence why when I think back to certain periods in my life I associate it with songs.
I genuinely felt like I was going back in time. Come and see time traveller, Nobel prize me already babyyyyyyy.
Watching those videos was bittersweet (remember blog post numero 2) as I was reminded of friendships that have come to an end.
When people say friendship breakups are hard, believe them.
It’s not fun.
Especially when you were so close to someone and you genuinely never thought they would leave your life.
So sad man, kmt.
It even makes you question the friendship in the first place.
Was our friendship not worth fighting for? (We gotta fight fight fight fight fight for this love)
Did you ever really care about me?
Were we just friends out of convenience?
Did the breakup hurt you as much as it hurt me?
So many questions left unanswered that may never get answered and that’s okay…I guess.
Stop looking back
One thing I do know is that I trust God with my life. As in, I trust Him more than I trust myself because sometimes I really be lying to myself about my true feelings and how much situations hurt me.
God is the only, the only person who truly knows our hearts (insert scripture here). Why don’t you go search out scriptures that confirm this to remind you that God really does know you and sees you.
In case you didn’t actually look for a scripture: Psalm 139:1 – You have searched me, LORD, and you know me. In fact, you could even read the whole of Psalm 139.
I know that God will keep no good thing from me and He genuinely wants the best for me.
I’ve come to learn that some people come into your life for a season, and it’s important to understand when that season has come to an end so you’re not holding onto or longing for what is not for you. This is where having a relationship with God is crucial and having the spirit of discernment to know when the friendship has expired.
I’m not going to say all that rubbish about when one door closes another one opens because sometimes it doesn’t happen that quickly. You may find yourself in a preparation period while waiting for the next door to open. During this time God could be showing you aspects of your character that you need to work on. This right here, very scary and we’ll discuss this in depth in another post.
As a person who loves to reflect, I have to remind myself that if I’m constantly looking back then I’m going to miss what is right in front of me. I’m going to miss the opportunities and people that God has placed on my path.
If I keep looking back to the past I’m not actually living in the present.
Then if I’m not living in the present how can I look forward to the future?
Yeah, that’s pretty much it.
Deuces
xxxx
Resources
YouTube
So I found this song during a tough period in my life and when I first heard it I legit couldn’t stop crying.
Steffany Gretzinger – Letting Go
This was great! Such truth spoken 🙏🏾