I didn’t know what I needed till I found all that I need
Sometimes you don’t know what you need till you finally have it
Well, that was me
Wandering along in life thinking I had all that I need
Not knowing that there was a deep longing within me
A need
I didn’t know what I didn’t have till I found all that I need
Does my writing even make sense?
I’m really in my poetry bag, aren’t I?
Let me relax with all of that talk.
I wrote this small little something on 17th May 2020 at 1:49 am during the first of many lockdowns. When I say my creative juices come alive at night, I ain’t joking. Sometimes when I write (most times actually) it doesn’t seem to make sense to me. But at the same time, it does. Do you get it?
As you can see from what I wrote, I got to a place whereby I realised that God is actually all I need. That’s it. End of story. .
Remembering my personal testimony
It can bring tears to your girl’s eyes when I think about all the internal work God has done in me.
Sorry, but that first lockdown was hard.
First of all, all my belongings were in a different country.
Second, I was stuck in my house with my parents and siblings. Families are so complex aren’t they, but you’ve got to love them.
Thirdly, God was revealing a lot of things to me that I never even realised – very scary.
In short, that lockdown was a turning point in my life as I rededicated my life to God. During this period, God was revealing things to me that didn’t make any sense at the time. But I was just like: God, if you said it I believe it. You’re a man of your Word.
Looking back over my life, I can see God’s hand in everything that I did. I can really see how both purposeful and intentional He is. Even though certain things may have happened that me personally I wouldn’t have wanted to happen. I want to have a mindset like Paul’s whereby I believe that whatever happens to me will serve to advance the gospel (Philippians 1:12). , it’s hard to have this mindset in the moment. Instead of asking God, ‘Why is this happening to me?’, I’m trying to ask, ‘What can I learn from this? Or what is God trying to teach me?‘
Ultimately, it all forms part of my personal testimony that can be used as a witness in lifestyle evangelism. Yes, lifestyle evangelism because we can evangelise with our lives, not just by talking to random people on the street.
Sharing my personal testimony
One of my fav scriptures rn is 1 Peter 3:15: always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give a reason for the hope that you have. My life is a living testimony to God and His goodness. This scripture reinforces the importance of writing your own personal testimony. I need to finish writing mine. It was getting quite deep, so I needed to take a break – but soon finish. While writing it, I could literally see how God was periodically breaking me down to build me up again in His image. This was actually something I had been praying, without really deeping it. Sorry, but that breaking me down was difficult and emotional, yet very necessary. While writing, I was just so grateful to God for everything that happened to me as it led me back to Him.
I’m so grateful because even though I may not be where I want to be, I’m not where I was two months ago, five months ago and even one year ago. God is continually bringing things into my life at the right time all the time, even when I didn’t even know I need it. This includes opportunities, people, money, situations, .
I’m really trying to always have a heart of gratitude and not complain. I don’t understand what God is doing half the time or why He does things. But some things are beginning to make sense and it seems like everything is coming together even though I don’t know what ‘everything’ is. It’s actually okay if I don’t understand it. I just need to trust Him. He’s never let me down and He never will.
Resources
Song
‘If you said it we believe it, you’re a man of your Word’.
Activity/Tarea
Write out your personal testimony of how you came to Christ or came back to Christ. Think back to the type of person you were then and how you have changed since.
For more on how I used to be, you can read the surviving 2019 series.
